Of all what I have read, I agree that she does not have to be the only one making changes. Why does she have to force herself to enjoy something that she feels uncomfortable with all for the sake of making HIM happy when he is just using HER for sex after he gets turned on by women in porn?

Also it IS a fantasy, and it is healthy when you are open about it and with each other, but not all couples are so open. Some people are reserved. My bf says "ew" when I mention porn, but I'm sure he watches it and frequently because lets face it, I LOVE porn. But he finds it offensive, so I don't mention it. I wouldn't make him change his beliefs because I enjoy something. It has to be mutual or it won't be fun at all. And another thing, porn and masturbation is something I enjoy doing privately, I wouldn't want to share it with him anyway.

Anyway, all I am saying is, it seems like she is being asked to do a whole lot of changing and compromising when he is making her feel cheap and dirty. You don't have to deal with that Torani. Not all men are like that, at all