I'm sorry you're going through that too. I also hate being judged like that at work. I worked in an environment for a while where you got called out on every teeny tiny mistake made, and it does get really draining.

I think sometimes you have to try and stand back from the situation and see whether the things you are doing are that bad or if your colleagues are being unfair. I always need my therapists help with things like that.

I relate to the feeling of something changing too. I left school early without qualifications and when I finally decided to return to study I was really surprised that I was able to get really decent grades. It's been the only thing I can do sort of well, even though I don't think it's much about natural talent, just effort. I'm not convinced if that will get me through the entire degree without any natural ability though. Now, I can't even keep up with the only thing I was doing okay at. I can barely look at my textbooks. When I try, my brain shuts down completely. I can't take anything in. I'm setting myself up for failure, I know, and I'll probably end up feeling worse about myself when I do fail. I do know how it feels to really want to change something, but be unable to. I keep trying to force myself to study. I get through about 10 words at a time, before I can't take in any more. I feel pretty useless at the moment too.