It's interesting to read about people's before and after. I can't really do that, I don't have much memory of my life before the symptoms of bipolar disorder started, my parents do, but Mom realized when I was about 5 I started changing. I remember having major anxiety in first grade. By the time I was in third grade I was dealing with racing thoughts, gradiose thinking, cravings, rages. I started in therapy because my parents divorced but an over riding theme of my childhood was "What's wrong with you??" going to doctors and specialists trying to figure out why. Why I refused to go to school, why I couldn't sleep, why I would fly into rages.

It wasn't until I was 15 or so and so depressed I barely moved, I stopped leaving the house, I got diagnosed with depression (which was wrong) and it wasn't until I was an adult I got the diagonsis of bipolar disorder.

When medication works for me I'm a different person - a happy, stable person.

There is a stigma to mental illness, I had someone say they'd rather have a family member deal with drug addiction than mental illness. But the stigma is changing and the more we talk about it the more it will help change that.

As for - has there always been bipolar disorder or mental illnesses - I know I can trace back behaviors on both sides of my family that coudl be contribute to mental illness to my great great grandparents (which is only the 1800s). But we don't have reliable family stories. And people were put in terrible institutions. Or they were the crazy aunt that lives in the attic. Or the ne'er do well uncle. Or the grandmother that was "eccentric."

I think it's always been there we're just better at seeing the behaviors and the behaviors don't have to be extreme.

My dad was diagnosed with depression after I was in thereapy for my depression. He had a successful job, he got through life, but he wasn't happy and he had a lot of issues. He could have probably gone without medication and made it through his life, but his life is better because of the medication.