Your thoughts and prayers are welcome, Pat. Thank you. I would never make any attempt at putting her in a car to go for help. I've seen her physical violence (toward others instead of just the house itself) once before and, espcially considering that she is bigger than me and much stronger (boot camp graduate, if that gives you any idea - the military was once the family's solution du jour), I would never cross her.

A few years ago, she woke up on a Saturday morning to find her dad tossing a ball with my son in the back yard. My son was about 15 at the time and she was probably 19. Nothing had happened beforehand. She had just gotten up. She walked out on the deck, yawning and stretching, saw the two of them, smirked, went back inside, thought about it for a few minutes and came back out. We had some remodeling work going on then and she walked straight to the scrap lumber pile, picked up a 4- 5 foot long 2 x 4, raised it over her head like a club and went straight for her dad. I yelled, he turned just in time and she stopped about 8 feet away from him. He calmly told her to put the wood down and walk away. She stood there, 2 x 4 raised over her head, for a minute or two, then launched it at him. He ducked out of the way (except for a scrape to the shoulder) and she charged. He ended up having to wrestle her to the ground and tried to hold her until she calmed down. She was laying on her stomach, and when she found that she couldn't get up, she just started banging her face into the ground until she finally bloodied her own nose. That traumatized the whole family that day. The rest of us couldn't believe what we were watching. When he let her up, she came screaming into the house, blood everywhere, vowing to call the police on her father. (she didn't call) Five minutes later, she walked back out on the porch, very calm, blood wiped off her face, and asked what was for breakfast - like nothing had ever happened. Had I been on the receiving end of that instead of her dad, she would have cracked my skull open, I'm sure. I asked her later what that was all about and she said that nobody had asked her to throw a baseball with them and she didn't appreciate being left out, as if that was a perfectly normal, reasonable explanation.

Her mother called last night and said that she was going to the area magistrate this morning to find out if an involuntary commitment is doable. I'm sure that they'll tell her that they can't do anything until there's proof that she's threatened to harm herself or someone else (or actually does it). That seems to be the answer I'm getting here in my area.

Yesterday, when my "step wife" discovered things missing (theft is a continual thing here), she decided to look through her daughter's car. Among a list of items found in the car were scores of used tampons (again). She says that her daughter is not keeping herself clean (never a problem when she lived here that I noticed) and that her habits (she didn't go into any more detail with me) are beyond nasty. She's locking her out of the house during her work hours, but her daughter is getting into the house any way and when she comes home, she finds her sneeking around the garage or hiding in the yard, always ending in scary sounding laughter that she's been 'caught' getting into the house during the day.

I just cannot understand why this has been allowed to go on for so long or why her father feels that she's just ADHD and hard headed. This behavior is not new, by any means. It's been escalating since she was 7 or 8 years old and has gotten unbearable in the last 3 or 4 years. I was shocked to hear straight from the step wife last night (we don't talk often) just how many children this girl hurt in her adolescent and teen years, and how many times her little brother has gotten caught in the cross fire of broken windows and the likes. I love my husband more than anything in the world, but how can he be so incredibly blind? He wants to believe that this is just a young woman who was never taught how to behave the right way. Sometimes, it's as if he thinks the answer is finishing school or something. It really is that ludicrous on most days. Maybe the distance of her being three states away (instead of back here again) makes turning a blind eye and a deaf ear easier. I just don't know.

As a step mother, I'm powerless in this situation. I've come to accept that over the melodrama of the last few weeks. Until she shows up here, I need to just accept that there's nothing I can do. Even then, I'm sure the trauma will have to get pretty intense before a positive step is finally taken. So......keep those thoughts and prayers coming.... for us all. And send the bulk of them my stepdaughter's way. She's the one who needs them most right now. This is far from over.