so the way i left things yesterday with my therapist was that i was to call my insurance company, find out how to continue the single case agreement (SCA), and give her a call to let her know what she needed to do (which is call them, answer a few questions, and fax in a form). i called my therapist yesterday and left a message with the info, and just received an email this morning from her. she's now saying she needs more time to think about it (the SCA), and that we'll talk about it next time i see her and make a decision then. she said it's not about not wanting to help me, but about how she wants to run her practice.

i'm upset, hurt, and confused. it would be one thing if all along she said no.. but to say no (or at least, avoid the question), then say yes, and now say maybe - is very frustrating. it also makes me feel like she couldn't just be honest with me when we talked about it in-person yesterday (for 45 minutes!), and that she's only really able to be honest over email. (which is also bothering me - i find it odd that i would call, and that she would email me in reply. it makes me feel like she really does not want to talk to me directly about this.)

to have to wait another week for resolution on this, feels like agony. i want to take the SCA option off the table completely now, as the decision will be made and i can move on. i can't imagine i'll be happy if she tells me next week that it's actually a yes because of all the flip-flopping that's been happening. i want to take the control back, and just say it's a no now. should i call her? try to schedule yet another appointment just to talk about this? wait a week instead? let her decide? quit therapy altogether?

what would you do??