Hi hummer, welcome to PC. I am sorry you feel so bad...

Feeling that you don’t want to let yourself down is a good start. It is also understandable to be apprehensive about helping etc. because of all you went through.

I think you should start by taking baby steps e.g. picking up a tool and trying to do something, anything, even if not elaborate. I don’t know the exact situation with your hand, but if you can do something not too complex? Or maybe just your presence at the Exhibition would be a first step & and opportunity to break the isolation by just getting out there. Just take it one day at a time, by trying to win little 'battles', at your pace... (((hummer)))