I don't share his sexual "curiosities" Torani, a point I have made very clear before and during our marriage. He has never pushed the issue, but only made passing remarks or jokes about "if I wanted to seek something outside our relationship he would be okay with that" (which was hurtful in itself). I think he was just looking for me to give him permission to explore his own needs. We have always had a great (although sporatic due to our emotional issues) sex life, and I honestly don't think his curiosity in that area has anything to do with his preferences, rather it seems to be a quest for the next "high".

I do need to heal, and I can not do that living with him. What tears me up is the affect it will have on our three kids. Our eldest at nine is so sensitive. Our middle one is already struggling through second grade and our four year old little girl is absolutely in love with her father. But I know that the environment they're been living in for the last few years especially is not a healthy one. I am angry and resentful and although I try my best, it inevitably comes out on them. They deserve a happy, healthy mom, and I deserve peace.

Thank you to all of you here for your support. I can't tell you all how grateful I am to this site and these boards. This is not the first time you all have helped me maintain my sanity!