I think self centered does have an ugly connotation. I think what my T said last night about a different subject applies to this as well. We were talking about emotions and needs. She pointed out that when you don't let yourself admit you have any needs... and then you start to feel and voice your needs you think you are the world's most neediest person because it is so foreign...

I think in the same way...when you put everyone else's needs in front of yours... and then you actually start to just "take care of yourself" like admiting you need to meet your basic physical needs for sleep, medicine, etx... It feels like you are being self centered because it is so foreign...

so long answer to that I think "self centered" in general is definitely a perspective thing...

But sometimes I do ask myself... what do I get out of it... what need is getting met by allowing bad boundaries?