I get so sick of feeling constantly like I've done something wrong. Even when there's nothing wrong happening and it's all in my head, I'll make stuff up and feel like I did something. I don't know if I'm making sense, let me give an example.

*hypothetical* My friend that is very close to me (not physically but emotionally) will do something as trivial as take longer than I expect to get back to me. In the worst case, if I didn't know what she would be doing at the time, I assume she's abandoning me and I'll conjure up in my mind somehow in the last conversation we had I said soemthing wrong and made her want to leave.

I'm on a forum, the other night and a subject which I won't get into right here came up. A controversial subject that I have an opinon on. I find that when I said my points, I am disagreed with and decide to change the subject. for awhile people don't say anything to me and I assume they all suddenly must hate me. (of course I think the worst). I stopped frequenting that chat room at the time I know these people will be on even.

This goes on throughout the day with every little aspect of my interactions with people! It's so tiring, and wearing me out. Logically I know it's all in my head but at the same time, the feeling that I've offended, hurt or angered someone is so real it's debilatating.

I get the feeling this is pretty typical of someone like me, with BPD. Nothing new, I know but just had to vent.

Thanks for listening.