Hi moodiegirl....

Thank you for understanding. It always helps when folks understand.

I still and hopefully always will believe in God. I just know I would not even buy ice cream from a professing christian.. And I'm not saying all christians are bad. It is just the "bag of resentment" that I now carry. What I trusted and thought was safe not only slapped me in the face and laughed, I paid them to do it to me!!! Who needs that? Not me, that is for sure.

The bad thing about "resentment" or "unforgiveness" is that we alone feel it. Those we don't forgive don't even know or care that we harbor those feelings. They move on and we are stuck with our feelings. So the "ideal" thing to do would be to "let go" "forgive".. I thought I forgave them. Looks Like I didn't, because those ugly feelings surfaced. But then I am not sure if I am angry at the counselor and atty or I am angry at myself for being so ill and being vulnerable and trusting. Had I been in my right mind, I would have run from both of them. Maybe my anger is more at "me" for being sooooooooooooo stupid and vulnerable. I know better, but during that "crazy" time in my life, I was holding on for dear life.. The sad thing is "I was the fool"...