I've been seeing my T for over 3 years now. When we started I'd never done therapy before and I was a total mess after a codependent relationship had ended. So I didn't have a goal or anything in mind. In the beginning I learned and improved a lot, but recently it's been just maintenance, or so I thought. It's been mostly relationship advice, since I struggle with friendships and connections with other people. She's never actually diagnosed me with anything. I use the words codependent and depressed but she never does.

I thought I was on the right track this whole time so it shocked me when my life fell apart about a month ago. I became codependent on a love interest and was completely obsessed with him. I acted out against all my friends and they called it quits with me. All this time I had been going to T, so why didn't she try and warn me I was going down the wrong path? Obviously I'm responsible for my own life, but isn't that part of why I go to T?

Is it unreasonable to expect her to stop me and say "hey you're getting codependent again." Or is it my responsibility to tell her I want her to stop me when I'm being codependent? Like I said we never set goals in the beginning, and my goals and situation have evolved over the 3 years we've been doing T. After everything went down the toilet I went to her and said "I'm really sick. I'm really codependent. I need help." And she said she was happy I came to this conclusion and that now we could start doing the real work. Is that how T works? I wanted help before of course even though I was in denial. I even asked her "why do I get so obsessed with people?" while I was in the midst of my latest codependent episode but she was very vague about it. "You need to identify your underlying need" she said I think. I guess I expected more direction from her - you should do this, you should stop this. I was in a way asking for help, asking if I was doing something wrong.

Also it really disappointed me when one of my friends did a better job analyzing my situation than my T did. My friend told me - you keep calling J(the guy I like) with crises because you want to talk to him but feel you need a reason to call him. She was spot on. I wish my T analyzed things like that for me rather than just listening. I almost feel like she supported my codependent behavior by giving me relationship advice. Is it unrealistic to expect her to realize when I'm being codependent?

So is my T just unequipped for my kind of problems or is it up to me to tell her what to do for me? Has our relationship just gone on too long and gotten weird? I have mother issues and I think I'm starting to react to my T in similar ways to how I react to my mother... I get pouty and passive aggressive and I want her to be sweet and kind to me but I'm unable to be sweet and kind to her... My parents were really meek and never gave me direction or discipline so that's probably why I want it from T. I guess I should talk about all this with her obviously. Maybe if I'm able to resolve my patterns in my relationship with the T then it'll be a step in resolving my mother issues.