Quote:
Originally Posted by Little Me
I'm needed to provide information on an investigation regarding my abuser. I already did it 2 years ago with the police here and hours and hours spent with attorneys. Then again last year and then again last year with the media. I need a break but.......... just this morning because this is an international abuse case involving other people I have now been asked to provide all the details again. I can't bear the thought of going through all that. I am trying to move on or as some people like to say..... heal. I have to keep seeing this stuff constantly and seeing his name in my emails every single solitary day!!! Obviously I am frustrated. Not to sound too important but they need me for this because I started the whole thing.... opened the whole can of worms. But when can I say I've had enough.....  |
unfortunately in some situations its not up to the victim/survivors. I went through a similar situation. it wasnt international but I didnt have a say in saying ok enough already. social services and my parents thought it best to prosecute my abusers on my behalf so that some day I could look back and know I was believed, that people listened to me and that regardless of the outcome I could be assured i did nothing wrong that everyone did everything possible to see that justice was done.
I got so tired of going over and over and over what happened, and I had to do the repeat cycle more than the average person does because I had memory problems and PTSD (those memory problems and some of the PTSD problems were later diagnosed as DID), they would have to question me over and over again until I got so upset that I switched into the alter that did know what happened. they even had me hypnotized and medicated to make it easier on me to recall what happened. I remember crying in my moms arms saying I cant do this again, I dont want to do this, make them stop and crying with my therapist telling her to make the questions and people go away I cant do this any more.
but now that its all over with Im glad I was given that chance to name my abuser, tell what happened so many times, and testify against my abuser, because doing those things really helped speed my healing process. I know many people who wish they could name their abuser, tell someone what happened to them but for what ever reasons they are unable to do that. some even end up stuck in the victim stage because they dont know how to get past what happened to them, some where the statute of limitations have passed feel like they have been jipped out of a part of their healing process because they were not able to talk about what happened, tell people what happened.
my point is I know its hard right now, it does get better and some day being able to talk, tell about what happened might just turn out to be a positive thing in your healing process. and maybe some day you will feel like I do that being able to name your abuser and tell about it is a gift that many survivors/victims dont have an option to do.