My good news is that I went back to the psychiatrist and am on drugs that have made me perfectly stable bipolar wise provided I take them right on schedule. If I take them later than usual I find myself sobbing away then remember and feel like a bit of a dork. But because the crazy is only just under the service I don't feel flat or anything. I've been completely stable mood wise, aside from anxiety for maybe seven or eight weeks now, which is a miracle for me, and I never actually thought it was possible.

The thing I'm finding hard is making myself ok again. The me under this all. I feel like getting so down again and again, and then popping up and doing things I don't normally do and embarrassing myself with no break has left the me underneath so broken and I'm not sure how to fix it. My confidence has never been so low.

And I feel silly. I've been seeing a psychologis and a psychiatrist and this just hasn't come up, and I haven't really told anyone except my best mate. I just can't seem to pick myself up again, and I'm not depressed but I am certainly not happy. It sux.

Anyway, I'm not sure what the point of that little spiel was, I just needed to get it off my chest. Has anyone managed to fix themselves up a bit after the initial "recovery" symptom-wise? Or is this just par for the bipolar course?