It's a painful predicament that you're in....witnessing destruction and feeling powerless. Unfortunately, as others have said, setting boundaries and enforcing them is a healthy step for you. It's a difficult dilemma, though, because you do love them - and by setting boundaries that were never there before, they can typically be met with resistance and an increase in the attempt to bring you back to where you were. It takes strength and commitment on your part to maintain the boundaries until they are able to adjust, if they're willing.

I remember when I went through this, it was so incredibly painful as the guilt and sadness - and the love and fear - all crept in. It would have been easy to give in to them...but holding my ground was so much more difficult. I would have deep, intense pangs of desperate guilt and sadness - but I kept the boundaries in spite of how I was feeling....knowing that the end result would be healthier for me. Eventually, things improved - not with those people, but with me. I was able to grow closer to the people who were able to evolve with me...and kept my contact limited with boundaries in place with those who were unable or unwilling to evolve with me. I am still able to love them without being their doormat.