Welcome to PC hummer. I am sorry you have had and continue to have so much to contend with. You are very brave for all you have overcome. Maybe you can just communicate that you may not be able to participate as much as you have in the past and just do what you can. It sounds like you like the contact. I don't know what to say about the physical aspects except I am sorry that it happened. I hope that it will get better over time. Please don't be too hard on yourself.