I feel the same way, Black Pup, and the more answers I find, the more questions arise. I went along for 53 years thinking I was just a little 'off', eccentric in some ways and prone to emotional extremes. The bipolar diagnosis changed EVERYTHING---I wasn't 'quirky', I was mentally ill, and suddenly I was thrown into a world of medications, mood charts, frequent doctor visits. It was overwhelming....even now, I still struggle with the idea that I will never be rid of this. I'm used to taking a pill or a shot and whatever sickness I have goes away in a few days; now that I'm actually functioning better, I'm realizing that to maintain it I will have to stay medicated for the rest of my life. At least I'm older and not looking ahead 40 or 50 years....I think that would be harder.