I actually don't know that it's forever. I used to think it was,I felt so much like you just described, and my opinion is obviously way off the radar on this now. I actually do think there is room in bipolar for healing. Maybe a piece of it will always be with me, but I honestly feel like the worst is behind me. The bipolarness I have had to deal with now.. does not really look like bipolar anymore. It's too mild, too short lived to be considered episodes, so infrequent compared to before. And I have every intention of keeping it that way.

If everything I have done has got me to this good point, then if I continue to work at my life and grow I don't think I will have to go back to that place. There have been times I could have went back to where I was at with this, but something has changed. I know people don't agree with mind over matter ideas, or this biological and nothing can be done to change it, but from my experience I just can't see that for me. Then there is neuroplasticity, which I think does support the idea that it can change. This is all just my opinion from my own experience.

I don't doubt you will be a good mom Blackpup, try not to let bipolar take that away from you. I have seen lots of not so great parents who are free from any dx. Mental illness doesn't dictate whether you will be a good mom or wife.