I have been all over the place mood wise lately. Well really control of my moods has slowly been slipping over the years. Maybe its not even the meds, maybe its just a steady decline that has nothing to do with meds.? I am on wellbutrin, lamictal, ritalin, xanax. My dr hasnt changed dosages in years, partly b/c its taken so long to get me this "stable'. Im maxed out on the wellbutrin and lamictal. I think about adjustments or add or take away some meds but Im afraid that I;ll lose even this tenious stability. I can feel it getting away from me. The mood swings are exhausting and Im losing hope. Its getting increasingly difficult to keep up the "Im ok" front for my family. Is this it?? Is this the best that I can expect? I feel hopeless not suicidal but I cant imagine living in this state of flux for the rest of my years. Some days all I do is cry.
I cant hang on for long.