Hi hester,
Is it your pdoc that won't change the meds? If so, have you told him how your mood shifts have been affecting you? In my case, my meds have to be adjusted every few years because they lose effectiveness. When I have had to make the big changes (twice) it has been a nightmare for me in terms of the months the adjustment takes, but when I am finally stable, I am so thankful to feel peaceful again. Since you feel you can't hang on much longer, please seek help soon!
Bluemountains