You sure are being hard on yourself. I was wondering, though -- if perchance some of the things you've listed turned out not to be so, would that pose any kind of problem for you?

Once upon a time, when I was not quite out of my teens, I was convinced that girls weren't going to like me unless I worked really hard to impress them and prove I deserved it -- and probably not even then. I happened to hook up with a girl who seemed to like me anyway and, even worse, to be working hard to impress me. I couldn't stand it. How could I keep struggling to impress somebody who was already impressed? I dumped her.

Your post happened to remind me of something that I posted about standards a while ago. I'd rather not post the same thing over again but here's a link to it.