I was doing better for a days or two but now I'm spiraling down again. I have some health issues and one just flared up and I have been in pain all day, and I have an important performance Monday I wasn't able to practice for because of the pain, and I'm totally unprepared. And I turned down another huge performance opportunity because after I practiced so hard to get that opportunity, I no longer had the emotional or mental energy and I just stopped. And I just missed a really important deadline that could have huge implications, and I feel horrible. I only missed it by like thirty minutes, not because I'm busy or stressed, but because I couldn't make myself care enough to start sooner. And that's the story of my life right now. I can't really get myself to care much about anything, so I just watch opportunities wiz by. I have never been like this in my entire life. I really just don't feel like getting out of bed at all. Ever.