Oh you poor thing I've got a 17 yr old bp son in rehab right now. I know how hard these decisions are to make. It's a living hell. I spent the last 2 days at full day lectures at his rehab about addiction and treatment. It was not fun, triggered me big time. I'm so sick of all of it, I cried for hours after the class today. It feels like there's no sure answer, relapse could happen any time. They actually did not condone "tough love" at the class, which I was happy to hear, sometimes I consider it but could never turn my back on him. They say you're not enabling if you're supporting their recovery, so like paying for him to live in an sle/sober living environment, going to meetings, school, working. They said offer to give the phone, or whatever, when they've shown their commitment to recovery, like going to his meetings, having a sponsor. They say you have to treat the addiction before they can really start processing and dealing with the issues that are underlying. They should still go to therapy and get mental health help, but it will take about a year of recovery to start getting to the bottom of everything.

Get in touch with his sponsor at AA for ideas and resources. The class teacher also said to avoid any nagging or criticism, ask their sponsor or therapist to do it for you instead, cuz they won't hear it if it comes from you. Uphill battle, the addiction monster not only destroys them but anyone in it's path.