writing a letter is really helpful. i've done that bunches of times. usually i read them out loud, sometimes she does, and there were a few that I handed her and said please read it to yourself. I remember one particular one that while she was reading it out loud I was trying to hide behind my notebook/be absorbed into the couch I was so flipping embarrassed but I'm actually glad she read that one out loud, because it was really a healing thing for me to hear her read it and also not hear any judgement in her voice.