I don't really know. I did not have the best childhood but I had a very good one that I have very fond memories of. I know that I've had an aggressive pattern of self abuse since I was a child. Something that I've talked to my parents about and they said they didn't understand why I behaved the way I did when I threw fits. I always blamed myself, and I often still do. I hear that such an act as si is that there is anger placed towards oneself, or frustration or blame.

I have gotten here partly because of my choices, but also because I haven't really known how to reach out when something was wrong. It is sometimes very hard to recognize what is wrong. Even now that I'm more better equipped to deal with myself, I don't always know HOW to ask for help or support. It is a very large road-block that sets me back time and again.