What you describe sounds like classic depression. You are describing how it is with me when I am in my depressive episodes. You may have shared this elsewhere, but are you receiving any kind of treatment for what you are going through?
I hope it gets better for you soon, thanks for posting.
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dailyhealing
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller
Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.