I dread it because it will be another christmas without most of my family. I mean, I am thankful I have my parents and my brother's family but I really miss (even though I shouldn't, they left me because I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and the thing is that I had had PS for 13ish years before I started therapy so they knew me with it) the rest of my family. Not to mention it will be the 14th year without my beloved paternal grandparents.