All I know is that I am where I am with this and i'm finding it a very hard place to be.

I'm trying to think of ways to help myself in this situation.

Obviously, my new therapist is very much his own person. I respect that. Would I like for him to be my old therapist - oh heck yeah!

Not going to happen.

There is such a jumbled mess of crap in my head, I'm having a very hard time even beginning to articulate what I want from this guy. So telling him the therapeutic equivalent of "I want my taxes done" may be out of the picture for awhile at least.

I suspect my old therapist knew what I wanted. Looking back, I really wish he had told me.

It's just a confusing place I find myself inhabiting. I'm trying to find a way out.

It's not easy.