if that is what it comes down to, then that is no one's fault but yours. i know it sucks to hear that. but it sounds like you are willing to complain about it, but not willing to put in the work to catch up. i dont know what to tell you. no one can make you want to learn. no one can make you put the work in. thats entirely up to you. it is your choice whether you want to continue falling behind, or if you want to step up and take the matter into your own hands.

from personal experience, you are only going to get father behind and more overhwhelmed. you are digging your own hole so to speak, unless you can somehow find the motivation to make the moves to get things back under control. i know it takes a lot to get going. but hopefully once you do, momentum will build and it will get easier. but if you dont do anything, nothing is going to be solved...