I don't think I understand this. Does it mean you were friends with benefits? Or just a friend? If he said he wasn't your boyfriend, why did you stick around? Do you not think you are worth more?

I am sure NY, like a lot of busy cities does make things harder in some ways. Where do you meet the folk you date? Have you tried a dating agency or something like singles nights? At least you'd met some men there who are ready to look for a partner. And I agree, nothing wrong with younger, but it depends on how much. Perhaps that's the one thing you could try to do something differently, try someone older. So many times I hear my friends who become keen on someone say something along the lines of 'he's not my normal type, but..' and they're happy.

The one thing for sure I know, is that if you come over as too keen, too needy, angry or too desperate, or indeed, in a hurry to settle down this will put men off once they start to see that. I am not saying you are any of these things, but its something to check your not doing or saying anything. A lot of men hate this too soon. The thing that makes me mention this is you mention it being a nightmare about seeing couples and babies in the grocery store.

Hugs.