I have memories of hitting and biting myself when I was younger. Also provoking my brother so he would hit me.

I can't remember if I was 13 or 14 the first time I cut myself. Most of my teen years are hazy due to my alcohol and pill use.

I wish I knew what lead to it, many aspects. I'd cut mostly during mixed episodes I think because my thoughts would be racing yet I'd feel so numb is do anything to feel something even if it was pain.