Well, my self-harm is definitely back for vengeance. I guess it didn't like the fact that I had stopped for a couple months, and it also didn't like how little I did it. Because now, I've gotten so much worse.

Two and a half years ago I think it was, or maybe three, I was really, really bad. Everyday I'd cut, and I'd do so much damage in one sitting. I went 18 months without it, started back up ever so slowly, doing reeeally small ones and doing them maybe once a week if that. I then stopped for a while, started back up again, then stopped for a few months.

Now, however, I've taken a giant step backwards. I'm back to where I was those years before, and I'm scared. I've missed it, sure, but if I continue how I used to be, I know things will get way too hard for me to handle.

I feel completely alone really. Maybe this is why I've gotten so bad? The way I perceive myself has definitely gotten worse, and just realizing what kind of person I am compared to who I want to be definitely takes a toll.

I feel pathetic and weak for posting this, but I guess this is my last resort. I just need advice badly, and don't know of anywhere else to get it.