I have this problem, too. The way I treat it: I purposefully associate with men who are nice to me, even if I am not outright attracted to them. Basically, I have learned to distrust (deeply) the mechanism through which I get attracted, and use reason instead. If a man is nice, attentive, caring, available, etc., and if I am not totally disgusted with him, I associate with him. If I am physically disgusted, that is it, I cannot overcome it, but if I am friendly enough with a person and he is being nice, I spend time with him, hoping to become more attached and grow to appreciate him.

So far that is the only practical solution I see for myself.

But you are certainly not alone with this problem.

To show the degree to which I have this problem: I had a disastrous second marriage and my ex husband took my children not giving me any visitation, took all my savings, my car, my everything, and now is going to restrict my international travel because I am behind on child support.

I had many suitors when I met him but I chose him. This weekend, I looked up one of those suitors on LinkedIn and he wrote back to me. It has been more than 15 years since I saw him (we never had a r/s, sex, or anything or that sort, but he was persistent in proposing marriage). After 15 years, he remembers the name of my son from my first marriage! And says that I was his hero, a very special person in his life, and one of the most intelligent and kind women he has ever met. And, he is a successful lawyer, wealthy and all the rest of that. Clearly I would have done better with him. Would not been humiliated for years on end, etc.

So clearly I had choices and I chose the person who would treat me the worst, turn my children against me, rob me of my self esteem and self respect, call me fat and ugly, etc etc

So no, you are not the only one with that problem.