it can manifest itself in many different ways.

Good point bear. Sometimes I think people manipulate others and are truly unaware of it, or see it as gentle "persuasion."

those who judge others the most harshly as manipulative are themselves manipulative

As a diversion maybe, to deflect their own bad behavior back on the other so as not to look manipulative, lol.

"The kettle calling the kettle black"

From the dictionary

Manipulative
Skillful in influencing or controlling others to your own advantage.

Manipulate
Influence or control shrewdly or deviously