Days of Healing, Days of Joy.................................................Dec. 3rd

"How does discretion fit in the openness? I worry about careless talk............
..................................................................................Vonnie W

All information isn't meant to be shared - other people's confidences, for example, or tidbits of gossip that are just as likely to be untrue as true. Nor is it prudent to broadcast all the details of our private lives, either in public or in meetings of adult children. Especially when our stories involve intimate details about friends and family members.

Personal revelation is important to recovery, but where do we draw the line? Sharing is magic, and the secrets we refuse to share can weigh down our wings. What is appropriate?

Two guidelines have helped other recovering people: Find a trusted sponsor. We can rely on our sponsor's judgment, as our own develops, to determine which items are safe for group discussion and which aren't. When in doubt, don't. If there's any question at all about breaching someone else's privacy, we should say nothing until we've carefully thought through the consequences. We can always speak out at a later time.
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Today, I pray for the wisdom to share what I should and leave the rest unsaid.

Early in recovery, before I had a sponsor, I had a problem at home and spoke of it at a meeting. I didn't know the "rules" of what was appropriate and what wasn't. Unfortunately, this information got out on the "street" and got back to my family, which cause unnecessary hurt. At the next meeting, I spoke up and told the group I was hurt and appalled that what I had shared at the meeting had gone out on the "street" and couldn't believe that everyone who had promised that "what is shared here stays here" could do something like that. From then on, I didn't share anything personal and I got a sponsor to advise me on such things. While it was my fault, I still couldn't believe at that time that someone could be so hurtful. Now I realize that those are the people who are not serious about recovery and I feel sorry for them.