Hello & Welcome to PC!!

So sorry you are having a rough time. Just a few questions if you don't mind.
Do you have a T (therapist) or pdoc (psychiatrist)? They would be the one's to dx (diagnose) your issues.
We're strickly lay people, not professionals. But we have our own issues & probably have alot in common with you.
Keep posting you may get more in depth responses. Thanks for sharing.
Take good care.