To me, manipulative is having an agenda that doesn't change based on the situation or another person's involvement and feedback. It's a "rigidity" of sorts, wanting a certain outcome and working to get that outcome. It's not bad, just defeatist because it doesn't take the other person or outside circumstances into account and the other person isn't going to like that.

If someone were to perceive me as manipulative, I'd stop and look at my behavior and listen to what they said so I could understand where they were coming from. Looking at another person's behavior is only useful when it tells me about mine since I'm the only one I can control or do anything about. Who called me manipulative would matter to me also, whether it was someone I knew and trusted like a T or a good friend or whether it was just someone whom I didn't know well or who didn't know me well yet.