Moonbeam I think I can relate to how you feel, I’ve been in hospital a few times and in retrospect I often wish I could go back, be back there, not because it was fun or great (it wasn’t ) but because I felt a bit like you, that I’d found a place I belonged where I was accepted for being me and where I could just relax and be ‘crazy’ without having to pretend to be normal or responsible or something I wasn’t. It was a major relief to go, oh yes there’s something wrong with me and I’m in a place where it’s OK to have something wrong with me.

I also miss the fact that there were all these other people around and that I didn’t need an excuse or justification to meet them and mingle with them and generally be friends with them – it was like belonging to a big (not necessarily happy) family. Having people on tap like that was great. I lived alone and it was hell going back to my empty lonely house afterwards.

Don’t know if that’s anything like you feel about it, but I wanted to write and let you know that you’re not alone in feeling sad about missing being in hospital, even if our reasons might be different. You’re not broken or abnormal for feeling like you do, it’s totally understandable.

Torn