Thankyou for the responses everyone...........It is just really hard.. this is the longest relationship I have ever been in... but also the most confusing one... Everyday I want to do nothing.. I want to cry....No one understands.......how I cant just move on from someone who caused me so much pain. I want my life back but it seems so faded... so far I cant reach it.. if I dont do something soon it will not be good.....I dont think I can ever let someone get close to me again............its to scary ... any more advice is much welcome.. on this long road to finding who WHitney is again