2012 was an especially bad year for me. I was dumped by someone that said I was only being used and I went through a terrible bought of depression, suicidal thoughts, thoughts of hurting myself and others, randomly about to burst into tears and finally threw in the towel and saw my doctor. She originally thought I came in for depression but I had tracked my mood swings ranging from wanting to die to feeling indestructible and she said it was over her head. She referred me to a psychiatrist who put me on Seroquel immediately after reviewing my diary. She was impressed at my initiative in tracking how I feel. I started feeling better after taking the first pill. I think, like a placebo effect, just the act of doing something made me feel better. I didn't care for the side effects, though. The drowsiness was almost intolerable and I had concentration and memory loss issues so I stopped taking it. It only took a couple days to clear from my system because I had a short lived hypomania moment and felt like my brain was in turbo overdrive mode. I seriously had like five separate thoughts going on all at the same time and thought I was going nuts. It seemed to taper off though and I'm back to my pre-seroquel self now. I'm still learning what it is to be bipolar II and what my triggers are. Currently I am opting to not medicate despite my general doc's concern simply because I'm not jumping off that bridge. I figure I can deal with the spikes and depressions as they come and, let's face it, the mania moments feel pretty awesome.