Ok this is crazy now... I've never been super upset about my bipolar because I'm a very eccentric person, but this is insane right now :| I have been flirting with 3 guys! One is a guy I used to hate- now yesterday I called him and said that I don't hate him and he said "Uh ok... Weird" and so I told him I wanted to see him, and he agreed, I flirted agressivly, let me just remind you that only 3 days ago I was dishcraged from a psychiatric ward (I had spent 6 days there, never been to a psychiatric ward before). Him and I had a coffee, I flirted A LOT and told him that I thought he had an amazing body, he complimented me too well let's just say if I hadn't had an appointment I would've really slept with him. Now the same night I've called Carl, this other guy I'm friends with, and I talked sexually with him and he liked it a lot (._. ) don't judge me, I'm off my meds because the meds I've been taking have made me partailly blind in my left eye and I gained weight... So as I was saying, yeah oh so Carl and I flirted and I think he realised I was REALLY turned on, he's my mate so I think he realised it wasn't that real and it was all this sexual frustration I get from hypomania but it gets worse, I've been flirting with a guy that's liked me a while and I think if he came to my house I'd REALLY let him have it, believe it or not but I'm still a virgin, don't want to be old when I lose it but I want it to be special and I think I'm really into the 3rd guy, and I'm trying to figure out if it's either love or lust? I've knwon him a while but he's being weird, hot and cold. I've been feeling paranoid too omg I think I can hear someone walking outside my room so I don't get out when I need to pee I'm sorry this post is stupid, but I just don't want to go around calling someoneand saying something wrong! Guess what? I started a damn internet dating site and I've got an account, and no I haven't been talking to men, instead I'm infatuated with this girl, but I'm confused because I like her quite a bit... Just wish I was normal sometimes, I really do, this is getting out of hand! I'm expirencing so much now :|!! The sexual frustration, infatuation, dating sites, fighting with family, and being so strange! *sigh* I also just hope the 3rd guy replies to my last text he hasn't replied yet if he said he liked me back right now I'd really be so happy I just wish he would! Omg!!