i think i hate food because i secretly love it.
very sorry you're in that place. i know how awful it is.
could you limit your binge opportunities by taking a limited amount of food to work/school/library/mall/park, and no money, while drinking lots of water and/or sports drinks? then even if you b/p later, you've got a little nutrition and more importantly hydration on board. might make you feel a little better physically even if not mentally.