I found out what has been going on with you... I feel so sad about your divorce... I feel responsible for it... I have acted out so much with you... and you were there over and over again-- every time I called. No matter what time it was-- you were there for me.
It must have been partially my fault. I rattled you. You lost containment of your emotions with me. I actually enjoyed that someone could care enough to be rattled and that someone as well put together could lose it over ME. I will never forgive myself. I will pretend to get better and better for you. It's the least I can do. I care enough to do that. There was never any hope for me. You, on the other hand, deserve to feel accomplishment and gratitude. You will find love again. Your heart is too kind and mind too wise to find the lonliness I have dug in to.