i hate being alone even though i know there are people who are there. it just seems like they aren't 'there'. i was feeling fine, great actually. but all my friends are crashing and its hard not to crumble with them. i don't want to fall, but it seems so easy. easier than trying to be the happy one(thats just a front). i feel like i have to be the upbeat one so i can try and keep everyone from falling so far down that i can't help them anymore.
i hate to say this but i am glad the semester is almost over and everyone is going home it will give me a break to calm myself down. But then again i might not see any of them until i get back from disney in January thats a long time not to see your friends. I don't know what i am doing I really just wanted to get this off my chest and since i can't tell any of my friends (cause they are the ones i am talking about) its just easier to say here and i know at least people listen. I really dont want to be alone tonight but my guy friends is sleeping, i went over to his house around 7. his care was there and i went to the door and rang the doorbell and he didn't answer. I got so scared.. i don't know why my very first thought was that he hurt himself. but then i went to his window (to see if he was there) and he was sleeping. oh man so much stuff going on. i don't think any of this is making since its all just rambling on and on. i think im going to go to my room and just cry. most of the posts that i have read tonight have brought tears to my eyes. i hate when i am like this i don't like to cry in front of people i don't want to seem like the week one. thats probably stupid to think like that. i don't know.. well i guess im going to close... i hope i didn't waste anyones time by rambling im going to go study
andrea

<font color=red> It's hard being a snowflake in a world of Cheerios!</font color=red>