Quote:
Originally Posted by gabmux
After reading the description of borderline that is in this thread,
I became very sad.....
to think that I've had all of these borderline symptoms my whole lifetime.
I've wasted a whole lifetime with my borderline behavior. And also
the lives of the people I came in contact with. I am deeply ashamed.
Had I not stumbled on this PsychCentral website, I might never have found
any explanation at all for my worthlessness. I would most likely have spent
what's left of my life blaming everyone else for my problems.
I don't know if I am still young enough to make any worthwhile changes now that I can admit to my insanity.
I wouldn't even know where to begin.
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Dear gabmux, you are not worthless at all.
. You care about others and you care about yourself, and that shows in your post. Learning is something to celebrate. We can't go back, but we can go forward with what we have learned and what we keep learning.
Although I had been in therapy several times for depression and depression-with-anxiety, I didn't know about BPD until I was past 50 years of age. What a gift to receive! I am working with a psychodynamic/psychoanalytic psychotherapist and it is so helpful.
You already have learned something about perceptions, and working with a therapist can help you feel better and help your relationships. You have a lot of insight, so you have a 'head start'.
There is no need to feel ashamed of what you didn't know. We all act on what we know; it's all we can do.
I hope you can feel enthusiastic about your future because it sounds to me like it is getting ready to change for the better!!