I am trying to hang in, like everyone says, but every time I start to let myself think about my situation, I start to panic, so I just try not to think about it. I am out of my anxiety medication till I see the doctor tomorrow (which I can't wait for), so I can't afford to let myself get all stressed out, because then I'll never stop. My natural instinct is to just run, go somewhere, but I can't because I have no gas and nowhere to go. So I just sit here and it's driving me crazy. My "boyfriend" I guess you could call him (used to be and we still see each other, mainly because he has never left me alone, I'm pretty much all he has and vice versa) just shows up at my house whenever he feels like it, which I hate. I like solitude, he doesn't.He just started a new job, which is great, because he's been gone for 3 days now. So peaceful, if not for the anxiety. Dreading getting the electric bill. And the thought of my daughter standing in my kitchen screaming, "What do you think my $200 a month rent pays for?" My electric bill will be higher than that, is she kidding? Who pays 200 a month? I wish I could. I'm on disability, my check only goes so far. I have a heart condition, maybe she was just trying to give me a heart attack. Either way, I'll survive, but this sure sucks.