I always thought it was healthy to talk about your feelings and your problems. I recently had a falling out with almost all of my friends over me talking about my problems too much. The shock of losing all my friends forced me to realize that I was talking about my problems in an unhealthy way. I was using it to get attention and to shield myself from ever getting criticized (you can't criticize me because I'm damaged, I can't help it). I read somewhere that talking about your problems can be an addictive behavior and maybe it was an addiction for me.

I've realized that my old habits were bad but now I don't know what to replace them with. I'm trying to patch things up with my friends, and I should be grateful that they seem probably willing to take me back. But obviously I can't go back to talking about my problems all the time. Before I was talking about my problems in a manipulative way but now I want to honestly talk about what I'm going through. I'm doing a lot of thinking and trying to change my whole life. So my question is, how do I handle having to keep all this to myself?

I have a counselor to talk to but it's not quite the same as talking to a friend you know? I'm afraid of going too far in the other direction and just not talking to anyone about anything. It makes me feel bad about myself that I don't have anyone I can go to when I have a crisis. I feel like a failure, since most people I know and most people you see on tv or in movies have people they can turn to when they're in trouble.

My counselor said to ask lots of questions to my friends about their lives and keep the focus on them, and to just sit through the anxiety I'll feel. I emailed one of my friends who I'm trying to patch things up with, and I tried to sound really happy and carefree, and sure she responded well but it's like I'm being rewarded for not being true to myself... I thought being true to yourself was always best.