Sounds like the idea of mindfulness is pushing some of your buttons. I have to say I get very frustrated with it and the whole concept - possibly because I don't understand it and maybe don't know how to do it properly, possibly because it feeds straight into the negative set up I already have and isn't actually helpful to me. Whatever the reason, I'd have thought that if you have been clear to your T that you'd rather not do it at the moment, she ought to be able to respect your feelings about it, regardless of whether she believes it's in your best interests to do it or not.

So yeah, it sounds like there's a whole load of stuff attached to this and like MUE says, it could be really useful to have a discussion about all the feelings being brought up by it, which could be more productive than just shutting down on it all together.

Out of personal interest, why are you set against mindfulness? Is it only in therapy, or is it you don't like the idea of it full stop?

Torn