I was diagnosed bipolar 2 years ago and for the most part have done a lot better with weekly therapy and meds. But for some reason I stopped going to my sessions and because of annoying side effects, I stopped taking my meds. Now I'm afraid I'm in a hypomanic episode that's threatening to wreck the progress I've made.

For me it feels like some part of me has gone missing. At first its just a mild distraction that gradually becomes a full blown obsession. I feel like I've lost my car keys and I can't go on with my life until I find them. So I start searching...and getting into things I should stay out of. I'm messing with stuff that I should keep my hands off of. I'm going places I have no business being. I'm thinking things I definitely should not be thinking. But I am compelled to fill this void that I'm feel...or I am imagining. My wife says that when I get like this I forget to love her. I've forgotten to love myself as well. But that's what its like. Love has gone missing in my life.

I need to find it.

SS