Most efforts at meditation do involve slowing down and relaxing. Mindfulness is a core component of meditation. One of the main benefits of the process is seeing that in regular life when something which might normally be triggering no longer gets a reaction. There is a gap which develops, so that you have more time to think and respond instead of reacting automatically. Most of the time you may end up doing exactly the same thing, but it will still feel different. Over time you would find yourself naturally feeling fewer negative emotions and more of the neutral and positive emotions. This isn't forced; it is just part of the process.

Mindfulness only works if you choose to do it. If you aren't motivated to make it work, you can easily find hours and days have gone by without having noticed them. It happens often enough even if you really are trying to make it happen. So you can say you will try it, and maybe even give it a chance - you will probably spend less time and effort on just doing it than you currently spend on being aware of not doing it. Yes, you are being mindful of not wanting to be mindful. And it seems you do want to do it. It just isn't really the best use of your awareness so it may take some time to start seeing the usual benefits. One of the nice things about mindfulness is that it doesn't require anything special; it just uses your regular daily activities for another purpose.