{{{{{{{{{{{{Andrea}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It's okay - you're not rambling. You're on overload from carrying the responsibility of being "okay" in front of others, on a constant basis.

Your body is telling you it's time to relax, time for you to regroup and settle down. During semester break, try to find some alone time, just for you, so that the "front" can come down and you can do whatever you feel.

If you keep that front or mask up all the time, one of two things may happen. You could start to not feel anything anymore and then you won't be upset ever. Or second, by trying to keep it all in, at some point you will completely overload. Then your emotions will spill over and you could do something you may regret.

I understand what you are going through. My "down time" as I call it, is either at work when everyone is gone and lights are out and I can relax and do paperwork, or at home like now when everyone else is sleeping and I can be me - when I remember how that feels.

Being the strong one is hard to do at times. I'm sure your friends appreciate you and your strength, which is admirable - but don't forget about YOU.

Please take care.

Mary Alice